Fake it 'til you make it

"Fake it 'til you make it"

Did anyone ever tell you that? I had a teacher in High School that said it each and every day. Not to anyone specifically but as a general reminder that life is full of crappy days, disappointments, and just plain old I-don't-want-to.

That's a huge relief to me these days...my life has been full of disappointments lately. I'm not where I thought I'd be and coming to terms with that is hard. I think each day it will get better and it often does, but there is no denying that I'm guilty of being too hard on myself...as if I have some magic power/control over how and when things happen. That's the illusion though isn't it? That we have some sort of cosmic control over our life? Truth is, very little is in our control. I find that highly annoying and extremely frustrating.

Being the Type A personality that I am (not to mention the annoying "People-pleaser") I find myself thinking that if I had just tried hard enough, been nicer, worked at it longer, or just pretended differently, then I would get the outcome I desired. That's not how it works though, sometimes that's just not THE PLAN. Always the planner, I have no idea how to proceed with my thoughts.

But this is the part where I really DO know....Trust in HIM.

(Sigh)

Meanwhile I'll just try to "fake it 'til I make it".